Words to Live By

1) Always be honest with yourself and others. One lie can deem you untrustworthy and it feels awful when someone you love loses trust in you. Honesty is always the best policy.
2) Love yourself! You are an amazing person and you are worth it. You deserve the best the world has to offer and don't forget it. Be your own best friend.
3) Break rules, but make sure the crime is worth the punishment
4) Laugh hard, even at yourself. Mistakes are made to learn from them and when you make one own up to it and be willing to laugh at it.
5) When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Life is hard and awful things happen, but be willing to see the good in it, no matter how difficult it may be.
6) A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Use your brain. If you don't use it you lose it.
7) There are times in your life when you will fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and remember that tomorrow is a new day <3!

From Summer to Fall in a Jiffy

I am amazed at how fast the summer came and went! We had a wonderful time together, but now it all seems like a blur. Every weekend has been filled with friends, family and fun! I've recently began crafting again and it feels great! I've lost 25lbs now, but the last 5 were due to having my jaw wired shut. (that's a blog in itself.) We've been making lots of new acquaintances and playing catch up with old friends. for now that's really all I have to say about it. I wish I was better at keeping up with this, and I'll pick it back up after we move, if I'm not to busy with the holidays.

Happiness: A Journey

Do not rely on your circumstances to make you happy. The size of your house, your bank account, your wallet will not make you happy. The number of kids, attention of your husband, or size of your family will not make you happy. The size of your body, your weight, height and measurements will not make you happy.  Circumstances will not make you happy. Only you can be responsible for your own happiness. It doesn’t always come easy. We all have bad days, things happen that are out of our control. Do not focus your time and energy on the negative. Focus instead on the things that you can change. Do not pray for happiness, pray for the ability to make yourself happy.  You cannot rely on any one thing or any one person to make you happy, unless that person is yourself. Life isn’t easy, bad things happen and all of us suffer through hardships.  Do not let life’s difficulties define you. Instead focus on the positive and define yourself with the ability to love yourself and make yourself happy.

Sacrifices we make: Things parents seldom talk about

    From the moment that you find you are having a baby sacrifices must be made: quit smoking, eat healthy, get a job with benefits, become a whale... That child depends on you completely for nourishment, safety, comfort and survival. Once that child is born you will spend the rest of your life with your heart outside of your body. When that child cries you will cry whether it be from joy and laughter or pain and sadness. You may hide those tears but you will be crying on the inside. As your child grows you will grow all the while sacrificing time, friendships, money, peace and quiet. Some people sacrifice so much that they have mental break downs and sacrifice their own sanity. We do all of this, most of us, with out complaining, some of us without noticing or giving it a second thought. We do this because are children are out whole worlds!! With out them nothing would matter!!
   
    Sadly there are still many in this world who have children and sacrifice NOTHING! These horrid people are takers in the worst way. Instead of sacrificing their selfish needs they sacrifice the needs of others. They feed their addictions instead of their children. ( Disclaimer: I am not talking about any of my friends, just started thinking of sacrifices this morning and couldn't get the thought out of my head.) I am talking about people so selfish, that instead of seeking help, they ruin the lives of their families. Drug addicts and alcoholics operate under the precipice of having a "disease." My question for them is if they had cancer or another life threatening disease, would they get treatment? Or would they wither away to nothing while there family suffered? Why is it so hard for some people to make sacrifices for the ones that they love? And so easy for some to sacrifice it all? Is it that some people are incapable of loving? Is the part of their brain, where compassion and empathy lie, turned to mush? Unfortunately there is no simple answer.
 
    We have to do the best we have with the hand that we have been given. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes and some people never learn. With that being said.... My children are so lucky!! They will have everything that they will ever need. If I can make a sacrifice for them, I will, every time. Much love to all of you who are a part of our lives. With Love Everything is Possible!!

some sort of epiphany....

    Today I went into a consignment shop with the kids. It was an awesome place with lots of great deals! Before entering I saw a familiar sign that read "please don't leave children unattended." It is a simple request and of course I wouldn't leave my children unattended especially in public. Still knowing that I wouldn't leave them unattended I entered the shop on high alert. Saying things I would often say in public like; "kids stay with me, keep your hands to yourself, don't touch that, don't climb that, come here right now." I probably sounded like a mommy drill sergeant to the lady working there. I actually probably often do in public. I am strict, not enough to were the kids can't have fun, but enough that they will be safe and aware of their behavior. After shopping around for about 15 minutes she said, "They are actually being very good. This is a kid friendly place and we only have that sign up because some people come in here with rotten kids and we've actually had some end up next store because their parents weren't watching them." I thanked her bought a few things and left. She was nice and I really like the store. For those interested it is called Olivia's Closet in Brevard, NC.

    I started thinking about it after I left and I get a lot of compliments on my kids from strangers. Usually when I get those "comments" is when my kids are acting up more than usual and I am fussing at them for it. I almost wonder if those people are complimenting my kids, telling me to chill out or both. It dawns upon me that maybe I sound like a mommy monster, but then I realize..... duh, my kids are well behaved because I am strict. Maybe it isn't only a compliment to my kids, but a compliment on my parenting. I'm not perfect I loose my temper, overreact and have mommy tantrums sometimes, but overall I am a good mother. I am teaching my kids how to live in the real world and have realistic expectations of themselves as well as others. I love to have clear headed mommy moments, God knows they are few and far between. Thanks for reading :)
   

one of those days (venting)

So I woke up this morning with positive thoughts and a little bit of pep in my step, despite the fact that Zeke woke me up at 3:30, 4:30, 5:00 and 5:30 when I finally got up. I fed the kids breakfast, got them ready for school and we were out the door without me having to yell a single time. (That is a rarity) I dropped Violet off at school, spoke to a woman about a speech evaluation for Zeke and then hit up the YMCA to pick up a scholarship form. Since we are spending so much energy getting healthy I wouldn't mind spending some extra money for some extra resources. I decided after wards to go walking at the mall, since it is dreary here today and ended up letting him get some exercise as well instead of using the stroller. So far, not such a bad day.... When heading to the mall my car kept dinging telling me that a door was ajar. I got to the mall, opened and closed all of the doors and as we walked away my alarm started going off. WTH?? I walked back to the car and double checked the doors again and locked it without incident. Zeke and I had a nice stroll, bought 2 sweaters at K-Mart and Zeke got to ride on the rocket ship. 

Then we rode to the library, with the door ajar light dinging away the whole time... I should have known better, but I locked it and the stupid alarm went off again. At this point the pep in my step that I had awoken with was completely depleted and I should have got back into the dinging car and drove home for a nap. Instead I took Zeke to story time. I have friends that go who's kids are friends with Zeke. Sometimes he will sit and listen other times he won't and usually I am fine with that. Today, for some reason, I was insistent that he (a busy two year old) sit and listen or we would leave.. I was uncomfortable! I felt like people were looking at us and judging me. And I was frustrated because I wanted him to listen to me for once. I realize now that I am guilty of caring what other people think more than I have ever thought I did or was willing to admit. I left the library, almost in tears and I am sad that I missed time with my friends all because I am so self conscious. I am on my way to a healthier me physically, but I have a long way to go socially.

Spring has sprung, and so have I!!

So it has been a month since I posted last. I kept up with the blog for a few weeks and that's about average for my attention span with things. My interest peaked elsewhere and I forgot all about this blog. I didn't blog about my new interest up until this point because I know how I am with things. I didn't want to get all worked up about something and then flake out, like I often do. So It has been over 5 weeks and I'm ready to share...
     About the time that my husband put a new dresser in our bedroom and I saw myself in a large mirror, I realized that my weight was getting out of control. Violet was born almost 4 years ago, Zeke over 2 and I quit smoking almost a year ago. I have been struggling with it in my mind for a long time, especially when I saw pictures of myself. I lost all self confidence, not that I had much to begin with.
    I have decided to make a drastic change in my life. I want to live a long time, I want to run and play with my grandchildren some day. I have won the battle with cigarettes and the logical next step is to win my lifelong battle with food.
    I have never really been comfortable in my own skin. My mother, brother and sister are "abnormally" skinny (sorry guys, it's true.) I definitely have learned to be okay with that. I don't want to be itty bitty, and I don't want to be anyone else. I just want to be a better me. So I have been walking everyday and eating healthily. No fad diets or lose it quick schemes. Just good ole fashioned calorie counting and exercise.
     I feel better than I have in my whole life!! I smoked from age 13-26. After a year I can finally breathe again. I wish that someone would have told me, as a teenager, (they probably did and i didn't listen) how much better I would feel about myself if I would eat right and exercise. Now I have learned it on my own and I couldn't be happier ;)

roller coasters are fun at an amusement park, not so much in daily life

    Happy vs Sad, Sick vs Well, Busy vs Bored, Lazy vs Active, Hungry vs Full, Up vs Down. I have been all of these things since my last blog post. Life is a roller coaster with constant ups and downs, curves and ever changing. It is what makes our lives interesting and sometimes helps us to appreciate all that we have. Our lowest points helps us to realize how amazing our high points are.
    Last week I decided to start eating less, exercising more and becoming healthier overall. Exercise makes you feel better in many ways. I would really like to improve my own self confidence, lose weight, and improve my overall health, mind and body. It would be nice to feel comfortable in a bathing suit again for the first time since my babies were born. I'm not saying that I expect to reclaim my figure from high school or anything, but it would be nice feel good in my own skin. So far I am doing well; I have never been on a diet in my entire life and honestly I didn't think that I ever would. But here I am and I'm feeling good about it.
     I had big plans for this coming week and now that Zeke is sick I am reevaluating. It is beautiful out and we are going to make the best of this beautiful weather while it sticks around. It is sad that we are missing time with our friends, but we will appreciate them even more the next time that we see them. For now we will just have to soak up the sun and enjoy our time together as a family.

Today's post wasn't very funny. I will laugh about it someday, but today is not that day.

Just Dance

So, I thing I finally gotten over the bug, but for some reason I have been in a funk today. Zeke has found his way into the terrible twos and he is a completely different kid lately. It's hard to cope with the fact that my sweet cuddly baby boy has become a screaming, kicking defiant little monster. In hopes of warding off this funk I've been crafting and decorating for Valentine's Day with the kids today. I try to make the holidays memorable for them and we love making things together and putting them up around the house. We all got frustrated and decided to take a break. I put on a movie for them and then went to clean the kitchen. A few minutes later Violet came to tell me that Zeke had hit her on the head. I began to shew her off because she wasn't crying, just tattling. As she turned to walk out of the kitchen I felt a tinge of guilt at the look of disappointment on her face. I followed her to the edge of the dining room grabbed her shoulders turned her around and scooped her up.  I took her into the kitchen, we danced to "Perfect" by Pink and I sang it to her. Zeke came in right as Kesha's "We are who we are" came on, I put Violet down and we all joined hands and had a dance party right there in the middle of the kitchen. I am in a much better mood now.  I love my kids and sometimes I get caught up in my own moods and don't realize that maybe they are just having a bad day too. Sometimes you should just stop what your doing and Dance. You'll be glad you did :)

Flu Season: Prisoners in Our Own Homes

In writing my brother this week I told him that I could sympathize with his situation. If you don't know me well, let me explain, my brother is incarcerated in a Federal Prison. It's a long story and maybe I'll blog about it another time. I explained to my brother that I was living in my very own prison. The children are my jailers and sickness and bad weather are the barbed wire fences or bars. During flu season we run the risk of being sick just by leaving the house. It is every where library, grocery store, schools, restaurants, door handles, shopping carts, sink faucets, toilet seats, tables and chairs.  My home was taken over the whole month of January. Zeke had fevers ranging from 101 to 105.4 for 6 dayS. And almost as soon as we recovered we were sick again. Violet is back in school this week, but for how long? I am still sick today with a low grade fever, this is day 10 for me. When will it end?? Should we stock up on supplies and hunker down for the rest of the winter?? Should we stop living our lives?? Or live every day in fear?? It is a never ending battle and we will prevail!! We will stand up and say, NO MORE GERMS, NO MORE!! I spent the weekend completely sanitizing my house, from top to bottom. We will survive this miserable flu season. We will not bow down and duck out. We will walk bravely into whatever business, school or bathroom that we need to and we will hold our heads high!! Because without illness there are no immunities!! Without suffering there is no triumph!!

Technology is Against Me

Since I was little and our family got our first computer I have had bad luck with computers. I can't really explain it. It just has always seemed to my that computers run perfectly fine until I come near them. Maybe it is because I am impatient and I never had a computer or internet connection that was fast enough.

This year my bad luck continues. We just had a new hard drive installed at the first of the year and and it has somehow crashed already. Because of my bad luck with computers or my husbands insight into situations such as these we have a three year contract with Geek Squad and an external hard drive. Which is amazing because there is no way we would have been able to replace two hard drives in a months time and all of our files have been backed up several times.

So, I really would like for my kids to have better luck with technology than I have. I have been pestering Mike for months to get the kids a desktop that they can play games on and learn the ins and outs of using a computer. Mike doesn't let them touch the laptop without complete supervision and a desktop is more durable. I recently read an article about baby's using cell phones and i pads to play learning games and that a large number of babies and toddlers no how to navigate those sorts of things. This information blows my mind not only because I didn't think of it, but that my kids will be starting out behind in the world of technology. But I can't help but wonder, "How far is too far?" And "Will technology help or hurt our children and their generation?"

Sick Day

So, the kids were sick for the whole month of January and it has finally gotten to me. When every else is sick Mommy takes care of everything. But when Mommy is sick who takes care of her?? Haha, trick question, mommy still takes care of everyone : P   I did keep Violet home from school today because I didn't want to go out into the cold rain. We all need a Friday off sometimes.

I'm thrilled that Zeke is finally feeling better, but after being sick all month he's used to getting babied. It's comparable to the attention kids get when your on vacation, then when they get back home they are all out of whack. That was also another reason I kept Violet home today, he is lost without her sometimes and when she's home I get a little more peace.

I did some scrap booking today after some inspiration from my awesome friend Andrea. It took a couple hours to get everything out and ready, but once I got started I did three pages in about an hour. It's very satisfying to look at a project at the end of a day and know that it is something that the family will be able to appreciate for years.

I'm so glad that I spent all week cleaning the house, so that I can relax a little tonight. When everyone else was sick mommy made chicken noodle soup. When mommy is sick daddy preheats the oven for frozen pizza night :) Maybe I'll have some chicken broth with my pizza, but probably not. Have a great weekend y'all!

A Little About Me

I am Rebecca, mother of two toddlers, and by definition, a worrier. (Not to be confused with warrior, which I am, but we'll get to that another time.) Have you ever heard the saying "Anything that can go wrong, will?" Well, that's kind of how I live, expecting the worst, but always hoping for the best. Some would call me a pessimist, but I prefer to think of myself as a realist. And even though I see the world in this light, I find humor all around me. I even find humor in the fact that I'm a worrier. The worrying trait was one handed down from my own mother, and I hope to worry as quietly as possible, as to not pass it on to my own daughter. I'm not sure that I have to be as concerned about passing it on to my son, as men are more doers than thinkers. See... here I am worrying about worrying. So, there it is, me in a nutshell. Which may be where I belong : )  Since my daughter was born I thought it would be fun to write down all of the funny things that happen in the daily life of a parent. Let's face it, parenthood is a riot. Even the biggest catastrophes can be funny when you look back at them. So come and laugh with me because parenthood is quite a humorous journey!!