Words to Live By

1) Always be honest with yourself and others. One lie can deem you untrustworthy and it feels awful when someone you love loses trust in you. Honesty is always the best policy.
2) Love yourself! You are an amazing person and you are worth it. You deserve the best the world has to offer and don't forget it. Be your own best friend.
3) Break rules, but make sure the crime is worth the punishment
4) Laugh hard, even at yourself. Mistakes are made to learn from them and when you make one own up to it and be willing to laugh at it.
5) When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Life is hard and awful things happen, but be willing to see the good in it, no matter how difficult it may be.
6) A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Use your brain. If you don't use it you lose it.
7) There are times in your life when you will fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and remember that tomorrow is a new day <3!

From Summer to Fall in a Jiffy

I am amazed at how fast the summer came and went! We had a wonderful time together, but now it all seems like a blur. Every weekend has been filled with friends, family and fun! I've recently began crafting again and it feels great! I've lost 25lbs now, but the last 5 were due to having my jaw wired shut. (that's a blog in itself.) We've been making lots of new acquaintances and playing catch up with old friends. for now that's really all I have to say about it. I wish I was better at keeping up with this, and I'll pick it back up after we move, if I'm not to busy with the holidays.

Happiness: A Journey

Do not rely on your circumstances to make you happy. The size of your house, your bank account, your wallet will not make you happy. The number of kids, attention of your husband, or size of your family will not make you happy. The size of your body, your weight, height and measurements will not make you happy.  Circumstances will not make you happy. Only you can be responsible for your own happiness. It doesn’t always come easy. We all have bad days, things happen that are out of our control. Do not focus your time and energy on the negative. Focus instead on the things that you can change. Do not pray for happiness, pray for the ability to make yourself happy.  You cannot rely on any one thing or any one person to make you happy, unless that person is yourself. Life isn’t easy, bad things happen and all of us suffer through hardships.  Do not let life’s difficulties define you. Instead focus on the positive and define yourself with the ability to love yourself and make yourself happy.

Sacrifices we make: Things parents seldom talk about

    From the moment that you find you are having a baby sacrifices must be made: quit smoking, eat healthy, get a job with benefits, become a whale... That child depends on you completely for nourishment, safety, comfort and survival. Once that child is born you will spend the rest of your life with your heart outside of your body. When that child cries you will cry whether it be from joy and laughter or pain and sadness. You may hide those tears but you will be crying on the inside. As your child grows you will grow all the while sacrificing time, friendships, money, peace and quiet. Some people sacrifice so much that they have mental break downs and sacrifice their own sanity. We do all of this, most of us, with out complaining, some of us without noticing or giving it a second thought. We do this because are children are out whole worlds!! With out them nothing would matter!!
   
    Sadly there are still many in this world who have children and sacrifice NOTHING! These horrid people are takers in the worst way. Instead of sacrificing their selfish needs they sacrifice the needs of others. They feed their addictions instead of their children. ( Disclaimer: I am not talking about any of my friends, just started thinking of sacrifices this morning and couldn't get the thought out of my head.) I am talking about people so selfish, that instead of seeking help, they ruin the lives of their families. Drug addicts and alcoholics operate under the precipice of having a "disease." My question for them is if they had cancer or another life threatening disease, would they get treatment? Or would they wither away to nothing while there family suffered? Why is it so hard for some people to make sacrifices for the ones that they love? And so easy for some to sacrifice it all? Is it that some people are incapable of loving? Is the part of their brain, where compassion and empathy lie, turned to mush? Unfortunately there is no simple answer.
 
    We have to do the best we have with the hand that we have been given. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes and some people never learn. With that being said.... My children are so lucky!! They will have everything that they will ever need. If I can make a sacrifice for them, I will, every time. Much love to all of you who are a part of our lives. With Love Everything is Possible!!

some sort of epiphany....

    Today I went into a consignment shop with the kids. It was an awesome place with lots of great deals! Before entering I saw a familiar sign that read "please don't leave children unattended." It is a simple request and of course I wouldn't leave my children unattended especially in public. Still knowing that I wouldn't leave them unattended I entered the shop on high alert. Saying things I would often say in public like; "kids stay with me, keep your hands to yourself, don't touch that, don't climb that, come here right now." I probably sounded like a mommy drill sergeant to the lady working there. I actually probably often do in public. I am strict, not enough to were the kids can't have fun, but enough that they will be safe and aware of their behavior. After shopping around for about 15 minutes she said, "They are actually being very good. This is a kid friendly place and we only have that sign up because some people come in here with rotten kids and we've actually had some end up next store because their parents weren't watching them." I thanked her bought a few things and left. She was nice and I really like the store. For those interested it is called Olivia's Closet in Brevard, NC.

    I started thinking about it after I left and I get a lot of compliments on my kids from strangers. Usually when I get those "comments" is when my kids are acting up more than usual and I am fussing at them for it. I almost wonder if those people are complimenting my kids, telling me to chill out or both. It dawns upon me that maybe I sound like a mommy monster, but then I realize..... duh, my kids are well behaved because I am strict. Maybe it isn't only a compliment to my kids, but a compliment on my parenting. I'm not perfect I loose my temper, overreact and have mommy tantrums sometimes, but overall I am a good mother. I am teaching my kids how to live in the real world and have realistic expectations of themselves as well as others. I love to have clear headed mommy moments, God knows they are few and far between. Thanks for reading :)
   

one of those days (venting)

So I woke up this morning with positive thoughts and a little bit of pep in my step, despite the fact that Zeke woke me up at 3:30, 4:30, 5:00 and 5:30 when I finally got up. I fed the kids breakfast, got them ready for school and we were out the door without me having to yell a single time. (That is a rarity) I dropped Violet off at school, spoke to a woman about a speech evaluation for Zeke and then hit up the YMCA to pick up a scholarship form. Since we are spending so much energy getting healthy I wouldn't mind spending some extra money for some extra resources. I decided after wards to go walking at the mall, since it is dreary here today and ended up letting him get some exercise as well instead of using the stroller. So far, not such a bad day.... When heading to the mall my car kept dinging telling me that a door was ajar. I got to the mall, opened and closed all of the doors and as we walked away my alarm started going off. WTH?? I walked back to the car and double checked the doors again and locked it without incident. Zeke and I had a nice stroll, bought 2 sweaters at K-Mart and Zeke got to ride on the rocket ship. 

Then we rode to the library, with the door ajar light dinging away the whole time... I should have known better, but I locked it and the stupid alarm went off again. At this point the pep in my step that I had awoken with was completely depleted and I should have got back into the dinging car and drove home for a nap. Instead I took Zeke to story time. I have friends that go who's kids are friends with Zeke. Sometimes he will sit and listen other times he won't and usually I am fine with that. Today, for some reason, I was insistent that he (a busy two year old) sit and listen or we would leave.. I was uncomfortable! I felt like people were looking at us and judging me. And I was frustrated because I wanted him to listen to me for once. I realize now that I am guilty of caring what other people think more than I have ever thought I did or was willing to admit. I left the library, almost in tears and I am sad that I missed time with my friends all because I am so self conscious. I am on my way to a healthier me physically, but I have a long way to go socially.

Spring has sprung, and so have I!!

So it has been a month since I posted last. I kept up with the blog for a few weeks and that's about average for my attention span with things. My interest peaked elsewhere and I forgot all about this blog. I didn't blog about my new interest up until this point because I know how I am with things. I didn't want to get all worked up about something and then flake out, like I often do. So It has been over 5 weeks and I'm ready to share...
     About the time that my husband put a new dresser in our bedroom and I saw myself in a large mirror, I realized that my weight was getting out of control. Violet was born almost 4 years ago, Zeke over 2 and I quit smoking almost a year ago. I have been struggling with it in my mind for a long time, especially when I saw pictures of myself. I lost all self confidence, not that I had much to begin with.
    I have decided to make a drastic change in my life. I want to live a long time, I want to run and play with my grandchildren some day. I have won the battle with cigarettes and the logical next step is to win my lifelong battle with food.
    I have never really been comfortable in my own skin. My mother, brother and sister are "abnormally" skinny (sorry guys, it's true.) I definitely have learned to be okay with that. I don't want to be itty bitty, and I don't want to be anyone else. I just want to be a better me. So I have been walking everyday and eating healthily. No fad diets or lose it quick schemes. Just good ole fashioned calorie counting and exercise.
     I feel better than I have in my whole life!! I smoked from age 13-26. After a year I can finally breathe again. I wish that someone would have told me, as a teenager, (they probably did and i didn't listen) how much better I would feel about myself if I would eat right and exercise. Now I have learned it on my own and I couldn't be happier ;)